[New post] Thankskilling 3 (2012)

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Thankskilling 3 (2012)

by anythinghorror

Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker!

That's right, everyone's favorite fowl-mouthed turkey, Turkie, is back, and this time it's not a simple slasher film. 2009's THANKSKILLING (see my review here) first introduced the sociopathic, fucked in the head Turkie. In the first flick he stalked and slaughtered a bunch of twenty-somethings on their way home for Thanksgiving break. Turkie's voice (done by Jordan Downey in both films) was perfect; the film had a twisted sense of humor; and their was lots of blood and gore and even a sex scene involving Turkie (which must be seen to be believed). Yes THANKSKILLING was goofy, silly, and sophomoric, but it was also a lot of fun!! So how does THANKSKILLING 3 hold up? Does it recapture the magic of the first film? (This is also my first "Holiday Horror" review of the season!!)

At the end of THANKSKILLING we were promised that we'd see Turkie again ... IN SPACE!! This was obviously ripping on other franchises taking their characters into space. LEPRECHAUN, FRIDAY THE 13TH, HELLRAISER ... all these had a film that took place in space. But the problem was that THANKSKILLING 2 never happened. But the fans really wanted to see Turkie in space, so writers Downey, Mike Will Downey, and Kevin Stewart decided to somehow include into the sequel a film that was never made. THANKSKILLING 3 opens with scenes from part two and then we get reports that THANKSKILLING 2 has been dubbed the worst film ever made and all the copies of it are to be burned. We see guys in hazmat suits setting huge piles of THANKSKILLING 2 DVD's on fire. Turkie, who's at home with his wife and kid, hears the news report and loses it. He kills his wife and vows he will find the last copy of his very important film. So I definitely lost this bet!! Who the hell would've thought THANKSKILLING 3 would be so damn self-conscious about itself??

Turkie gives a new meaning to the term, "Members Only"!!

And if you like foul-mouthed puppets, then THANKSKILLING 3 is definitely for you. Other bizarre characters include Yomi (also Jordan Downey), a puppet who lost her mind and is trying to find it, but instead finds the last copy of THANKSKILLING 2; Flowis, a rapping grandma who would make a sailor blush; Rhonda (Kevin Stewart), a bisexual space worm; WiseTurkey (Downey, again), the gatekeeper to the Featherworld; Rimjob Rick (Ryan McLelland); and a whole lotta other filthy-mouthed puppets. Leading them all is human, Uncle Donny (Daniel Usaj), who's dream is to open a Thanksgiving-themed park, "Thanksgiving Land," and who is also the inventor of the PluckMaster 3000, which can kill, pluck, stuff, and cook a live turkey in about 20 minutes. The characters keep getting more and more bizarre, as do their situations. All the characters here are down right hilarious in their own right, but sometimes they don't always have a whole lot to do with the plot. Often times we get bizarre characters simply to introduce a new bizarre character.

This is one raunchy, filthy-mouthed old lady puppet!!

The plot is also all over the place. The basic story thread, here, is that Turkie is trying to find the last copy of THANKSGIVING 2 because he placed various curses in it (not foul language; actual incantations) and whoever watches the film will die. So he wants to get his hands on it in order to punish humanity for eating his kind on Thanksgiving. I mentioned that this is the basic storyline. There's so much going on here that I must admit that I was lost on more than a few occasions. Nothing like feeling like a total idiot for getting lost during a foul-mouthed puppet show!! The budget on this one was definitely larger, but I would've rather have seen some more creative kills than have what felt like an endless parade of whacky, saucy-mouthed puppets all over the place. But when Turkie gets resurrected in one scene after being cooked, only to discover that his cock was missing and then fashions a chainsaw strap-on in a scene taken directly from EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN (including the line, "Gravy" instead of "Groovy"), this was worth the price of admission alone!!

Gobble, gobble mother fuckers ... gobble, gobble indeed!!

Sure THANKSGIVING 3 is unfocused and feels as though it was written in a frat house after a night of Jack Daniels enemas and feeding roofies to sophomore girls, but there was also a lot to keep your attention if your a sick, immature viewer who likes toilet and sexual humor ... like myself. THANKSGIVING 3 is one of those films that you're either gonna like or not like and no one's going to convince you one way or the other. If you enjoyed the first film then chances are you'll like this one. Sure the plot meanders more than the patients at an old folks home right before medication time, but did I mention the chainsaw cock? There's less blood than in the first film, but the laughs and absurd situations are most definitely amped up. Once again, if you liked part one, you're enjoy part two. I gave THANKSGIVING three stars and am giving this one a half star less due to the unfocused plot. But check this one out. Hell; until Eli Roth gets his shit together, there ain't too many Thanksgiving-themes horror flicks out there!!