Apparently the inspectors, who are in charge of the polls for their precincts, are required to say that at six in the morning when the polls open. I learned this during the poll workers' class I had a few weeks ago. It made me snicker, glad that I'm only a lowly poll clerk.

So what does that have to do with nevillegirl posting at four in the morning? you ask, blearily rubbing sleep out of your eyes. (Or maybe not, if you're one of my UK readers. Cheers!) You see, in the United States today is Election Day and I signed up to be a poll clerk for the Democrats. Silly me, I'd already signed up before I realized that I have a test in my college Spanish class that day as well as NaNoWriMo. However, I'll be able to take the test a day later and I've written enough to ensure that I won't fall behind. So I'll be at the polls by five in the morning and remain there for at least twelve hours. I've wanted to help out at the polls since the 2004 election but you have to be at least sixteen and I was only eight then. Goverment and politics interest me, but I probably won't want to hold a public office because it's quite stressful and people don't always want to cooperate.

I haven't really discussed politics (besides Mitt Romney's similarity to mandrills, the Barackodile, and the 2012 Presidential Election Hunger Games) here because it is a touchy subject, but now I've decided to tell you what I believe because, well, why not?

But first, why do I believe what I believe? People don't come by their views for no reason, after all. Some of my ideas come from being an atheist, so I'm not influenced by any religion and am not happy when someone suggests that any religion should influence laws. I'm sure my dad will have kittens when he reads this next part, because he's a huge fan of this man. To see if my ideas makes sense, I check them against a quote by Thomas Jefferson. It's not from the Declaration of Independence, but from Notes on the State of Virginia:

"The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

Jefferson was speaking of religious freedom, but I think this quote can be applied to anything. Government should only make laws prohibiting things that harm others. If people don't like something but that thing doesn't hurt other people, then it should not be banned. I suppose that another, less polished way to sum up my philosophy is, "I really don't care what other people do, as long as it doesn't hurt me."

So I'm pro-choice abortion, a supporter of gay rights, a believer in freedom of and from religion, and a feminist/equalist. As for things that don't really relate to rights, I think we need to research and adopt green energy, tax the rich more than the poor because they can better afford to pay, cut military spending because the world doesn't need more wars, and keep Obamacare. The graph below shows what results I received on this test of political beliefs. I don't think Obama is perfect, but Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan scare me, and not only because Romney looks like a baboon and Ryan looks like an ugly version of one of my uncles. Their economic plan is very vague, leading me to believe they don't have one or else that it isn't very good. I also don't like their ideas about minority rights, especially women's rights. (The Republicans scare me a lot on this issue. Perhaps you've heard of Richard Mourdock? Yeah, that idiot is running for senator of Indiana - my own state. I feel embarrassed to live there now.) Finally, I would never vote for a man named Mittens.

Apparently I don't seem like the sort of person who would be liberal, though. Maybe my friends don't know me as well as I think they do; maybe we've just never talked about politics much; maybe they think I'm too dorky to care about this stuff; maybe they were hexed by Voldemort. At any rate, within the last year or so I've had friends look at me like I was crazy after they asked me what political stuff I supported and my answers were overwhelmingly liberal. At the same time, I stared at them, thinking, "How could you not support those? Besides, you brought up the topic!" Maybe we don't know each other as well as we think we do. Maybe they're guessing that because I'm homeschooled, I am conservative - after all, many homeschoolers are conservative. However, that argument doesn't hold up. It's like saying all white people are Republicans. No, they can be Democrats, Libertarians, or members of quite a few other political parties. No one questions what I believe on the basis of my race, so why is it weird that I'm a liberal homeschooler?

Now, on to more trivial things! Last election, in 2008, Saturday Night Live had some excellent skits about the presidential race. They were my inspiration to dress as Sarah Palin that Halloween; that costume is still my favorite. I had a bunch of little signs and campaign buttons saying stupid stuff and I carried a hockey stick and a Barbie doll - references to "hockey mom" and "caribou Barbie".

However, there haven't been many decent Saturday Night Live skits for this election. Never fear! Over the past few months, I've found several other ridiculous-yet-wonderful funny videos. I found "Eye of the Sparrow": A Bad Lip Reading of the First 2012 Presidential Debate after a friend sent me the link to the Twilight version. I highly recommend both. What am I saying? I highly reccommend all of the BLR videos. I don't even remember how I found Epic Rap Battle: Obama Vs. Romney but that doesn't matter. I think it's clever: "I'm the Head of State / You're like a head of cabbage." (I also reccommend Gandalf Vs. Dumbledore.) However, the best parody I've found is Mitt Romney Gangnam Style. (If you don't understand it, the original is here. It's a Korean pop music video that went viral; it's so awful that it goes past being horrible and becomes weirdly fascinating. CharleyR and I predict that Legolas Greenleaf will be in the background doing the Gangnam Style dance and perhaps even singing in the upcoming The Hobbit Part One film because that elf is always singing in the books/movies.) "You should elect me because I've got so much money-yyy-yyy-yyy-yyy!"  and "I've got distinguished hair / And a private jet that flies me way up in the air!" had me in stitches. Also, Paul Ryan's dancing is awesome. Go watch those videos. Now.

Happy Election Day! Remember to vote and if you can't, pester every adult you know about it. Good luck, Mr. Biden. Good luck, Mr. Obama.